Funniest Text Of The Day ...

I've just had a text from my friend Sandra, who is the celebrity liaison officer for a very large wildlife charity. She recently joined Guardian Soulmates and had a bit of a stalker moment with a chap she had met from the site. She complained to the relevant officials and has now been given a life-long membership. They didn't want to lose her custom apparently.

How bloody depressing is that? I did laugh out loud though.

If it was me I wouldn't rest until ... they had implemented a new application system specifically for men. Every single one would need to have a CRB check, three forms of ID as proof of address, (including household bill) and most important of all .... references from three previous girlfriends. I shall write a letter of suggestion.

Lol. Doris. x

Simon Cowell - My Guardian Angel

I had another dream about Simon (God) Cowell last night.

Basically, for those of you who don't know ... Simon comes to me in my dreams, a bit like a guardian angel to offer advice on certain love or work dilemmas in my life. Once, he even answered a question regarding the colour I should paint my kitchen units. He suggested Cornforth White from the Farrow & Ball range.

Anyway, in my dream I'm sitting in The Ivy Club waiting for my friend Top Agent to the Stars Teresa O'Riley to arrive - when out of the blue Simon appears, looking all tanned and gleaming from his annual trip to Barbados.

Bending down to level his face with mine, he says, 'Who Dares Wins Doris, Who Dares Wins', then ends by imitating the Meercat voice from the current insurance advert, 'it's simples'.

I have been thinking recently that I'm not spontaneous enough in both work and love. Maybe, he's encouraging me to grab opportunities or to make them happen. Hmmmmn. I shall ponder his most recent advice and come back to you.

Much love and Happy New Year btw. Doris.xxx