Meeting Talent

Just had a coffee with Fielder Newton – the former camp king of daytime TV. In the late 90’s he was one of TV’s top earners. But as the work dried up and the weight piled on and a love affair ended, he took his final bow (or so we thought) from Showbiz (and Soho) and graciously retired to his holiday home in Marbella.

‘I’m BACK darling,’ he beamed over a Peppermint tea. ‘And I want YOU to develop a prime-time Saturday night show for me on ITV1.’

Oh Sweet Jesus. It always amazes me how celebrities have this sense of entitlement. Never really grasping they’ve been replaced with younger dogs with newer tricks.

‘Oh Fielder you are a one.’ I giggled as I attempted to fudge his request, steering the conversation around to FIVE.

‘The thing is …you should have your own chat show and FIVE is the place for that to happen.’ I stated, as if I’d just thought of the idea!

‘What’s the idea,’ he quipped, irritably, just as he’d rumbled that I had no intention in wasting time my time talking about getting him back on ITV1. Simply not going to happen

‘Word has it Woolfy is looking to re-invent someone fabulous with their very own chat show,’ I leaned forward, hoping not to be overheard by the other Exec’s lying in wait. ‘I wondered about you and your old pal Cecile doing the job.’

Former swinging sixties singer Cecile Gray was once the highest paid TV presenters on the box but she handed in her notice during a LIVE programme back in 2001.

Clearly, horrified, Fielder snapped, ‘I don’t co-host darling.’ Then … as if a light bulb had been switched on in his head, he followed with, ‘Unless it was with…’ he paused.

Taking the liberty to finish his sentence, I jumped in, ‘Cheryl Cole is not going to do FIVE anytime soon Fielder. However, think of the publicity you and Cecile would get. The viewers still love you and R & J are no longer competition.

Cheryl Cole! I ask you

On leaving the Ivy Club, I bumped into David Common, as he ungraciously climbed out of his chauffeur driven car. On spotting me trundling out from behind the highly polished glass doors onto West Street, he bellowed, ‘Darling, how are you?’

David Common is the agent to the serious A-List talent. He’s RICH. Clocking on in years now though, but still a fine figure of a man. He made millions from the sale of his agency Liberty Talent.

‘I’m fine Dave, how are you and the dogs?’ I enquired.

‘Darling, you must come into office to see them. Coca’s back from Barbados. Fix something up with Olivia.’he said.

Coca is a mongrel he rescued from a Caribbean dirt track on the island of his holiday home. Olivia is his bewildered personal assistant.