A Word From The Wise

I’m a creature of habit particularly on Sunday morning.

I like to get up about 9 am, tidy my flat, put a wash on and then watch the BBC’s Country File - while waiting for the machine cycle to finish. At midday, I pop next door to shoot the breeze with Adela.

Adela Rubenstein, (86 yrs) is sprightly for her age and doesn‘t miss a trick. She and her husband Baruch (sadly, now passed), escaped to London from Nazi occupied Poland in 1943.

Baruch, an Optician opened a shop. Over the years their business grew to a string of shops all over North London. Her hapless excuse for a son Jonny (somehow) now runs the empire - under her watchful eye.

Our Sunday ritual runs like clock work. After my ablutions, Adela puts her back-door on the latch and sets about preparing a cafetiere of fresh coffee and a plate of biscuits from Carmelli’s Bakery in Golders Green

Her kitchen is warm and comfortable. Family photos line the walls telling stories of years gone by, including photos from their life in Warsaw to arriving in Blighty. Mismatched crockery, pots and pans fill the draining board, as the aroma of coffee wafts through the Edwardian four-story house.

Each week, Adela passes on advice borne from life experience. She is like my own audio Self Help Book. Her words of wisdom range from ‘enjoy the nowness of life,' to ‘always wear make-up. No man is interested in a woman who doesn’t take care of herself,’ she would state in her thick Polish accent.

Peering over her rimmed spectacles, Adela gently puts down her china coffee cup and in a slightly baffled tone, once again asks the question, ‘Doris. I do not understand why you not have husband. You are thirty five now. You need to make this happen,’ she demands.

The truth is - I do meet chaps, they're just not funny (my ideal man is the actor Ben Stiller. Phwooar). If I’m not LAFFING within minutes of meeting him, then jog on. I’d rather stay at home watching Coronation Street or drinking a bottle of Cava with friends than be with a man for the sake of it.

Detecting my lack of interest, Adela gently wags her finger and continues, ‘When you meet a man who loves you, but you don’t love him. You marry him anyway. Love grows.’ she declares.


She told me she cried on her wedding night. She didn’t love Baruch at first. Her parents wanted her married because he'd take care of her. However, the unconditional love and kindness he showed her made her fall deeply in love with him. They were never apart, until he died from Cancer four years ago.

Our weekly coffee and chat left me mulling over those ex-boyfriends - the ones who were keen but I wasn‘t fussed about. Have I snuffed out my chance of true love by not allowing one of those relationships to grow? Probably. But I’m off for a run now on the Heath with my I-Pod. I’m listening to audio book Ghost by Robert Harris.

Love as always.

Doris. x